i thought i was having a bombbb day

shit's just not going g00d for me today. i had the best day ever, until some bullshit drama surfaced. it's just shocks me how i try doing the 'right thing', trying to save a friend from heartbreak + he doesn't even know wether to believe me or not

+ some other shit. my bestfriend & my close friend aren't friends anymore. shit's gna hit the fan reeeeal sooon & i know my ass is gna be in the middle of is. i always am. sighs*

[P*17]

everyone's all down w. this team 23, team 24, team looney tooons, team shine bullshit + i'm like FUCKKKKKKKKK THAAAAAT ;] hahh no disrespect to my gaiii friends who are in it - but haay, me + andrea are in something way better!

P*17 doggggggggggggggggg! :]

you already know dude. hahahaha it's not even rly' a group, team or anything. shit, it's me amber + andrea dude .

DC niggggggggga =]

we went to washington dc todaay =] first we like drove to some train station, where the trolley was gna pick us up @ . it was coming at like, 1 30ish and it was about 1 soo we a8' mickey d's + walked around. when it was 1.30 the shit was parked outside & it was soo wierd cause it was liiike idk, a boat/bus haha it had tons of ducks on it tooo x) lmao it was a "quacker bus" ha don't ask. it was packed dude! i sat w. my cousin shary , while esmarlin on the other hand, sat w. some overweight woman hahah. we toook like a 2 hour tour to EVEYWHERE in washington. we seen the washington monument, lincoln monument, or memorial ha idk, & like museums + shit and memorials for like world war dos and whatnot. + the radest thing? OBVVVVVVVV the white house dude! lmao it gave me the chills seeing it in person ;] the bus ride was amaazing. like it was blazingggg hot, but it was a grrr8' weather & then right when it turned to a boat + we went thru water, it started sprinkling rain. i'm like 'okaay, as long as it's not pouring'. then it starts pouring! & i'm like 'well it could be worse.' & then it starts pouring AND getting o.d windy dude! we had to bringg out the yellow slickers and shit hahaha. it was too funny though ' . we were soaked after the rideeee. when we went back to the train station, i got mad shit for my family + i bought me and esmarlin some jewlery. hahaha okaay so there was this azn lady who worked at the store we got our jewlery from + like total, it cost 12.65 + i guess mistakenly i onlii gave her 11.70, so im like 'okay, ill just put these earrings back' & she's like "noooooo, you ah, you ah give ah me less. yu wun dolla less short. i neeed dolla" & i'm like "no i'll just put it back , cause i don't have the money" & she like basically says 'fuck you' to what i said & starts counting my change like "waaaan... tuuu.... treeeee." up until fucking 70! lmao me + esmarlin tried so hard not to laugh cause it was ridiculous + we were there at the counter for a goood 10 min! and i was a litttle louder this time, saying 'ma'am, im putting the earrings back okay?" & shes like "ohhhh ohhhkaaaay guuuuuud tank you" w. the biggest smile + she was sooo clueless! bahahahahaha she was hilarious tho' - & then we had like the half an hour car ridee home + now i'm p00ped! but this was legit the funnesy day i've had so far :]

hahahh

me: hey since we're in P*17 , you know what song we should put on our page?


andrea: oh god, what?


me: '17 forever' :D


andrea: darlanne shut up, you're still '16 at war'

i get it now!

i know what that quote "you can't have your cake & eat it too" means!

example: say there's this dude. and he has a girlfriend. and the motherfucker is cheating on her w. 'his mistress' lmao + the girlfriend finds outt & he still rly loves the girlfriend but wants to be w. the mistress + she leaves his ass.

it's like you can't have the girlfriend + still fuck around w. the whore. you gotta be willing to give something up in order to gain something.


coool beans

tmrwwww

me , cousins + aunt/uncle are headinggg off to washington d.c for a trippp =] kinda stoked. hopefully i happen to see obama walking down the st. oh how i wish ;]

big girl, you are beauuuutiful .

i h8' going on the scale. i feel even more fatter when i do so.

fuck it. i'm not skinny. nor will i ever be. fuck excersize mannn . i'll continue to beast on foood, stick to my size 15 jeans + have people rub my buddah bellay.

plus, i like my curves ;)

...

my mind is so fucked lately.

- if i telll people, they're gna look at me like i'm psycho.

maybe i am psycho.

all i know is that if i can tell one person, who won't judge me , then i'll feel relieved.

this quote fucks w. my mind!

"you can't have your cake & eat it too."

uhmmm wtf?!


no, like i don't identify w. that quote whatsoeverr.

what's the point of eating cake if you can't have it? you have to HAVE cake to fucking eat it! idiots -_-

this quote will always rack me + Andrea's minds.

mistakes.

everyone makes mistakes. we have to accept + move on.

i make mistakes everyyday. my friends are even more fuckups<3 but i love them regardless + i'll never stop loving em' because learning from our mistakes is what makes up stronger + makes our skin thicker. honestly i'm living by the Miley Cyrus quote:

"the day i stop making mistakes is the day i stop learning."

ha<3 trueeeee'daaaat

+3

i gained 3 more fuckinggggg poundss -_-
kaiiiii'now i'm liike wtf's g00000d.? i'm gettting fatter now.
i gottta stop piggggin' out doggg. i'm gna start excersizing everrrry'day now.

chyeaah;*

sleep

sleep is wonderful. sleep is what i do all day. sleep is something i could do forever

whooop! =] official viddddd.

finallly, the video i've been w8 ing forrrrrrrrr!


Mika - We Are Golden. <3

http://perezhilton.com/tv/index.php?ptvid=055c14567a42e&category_id=newest&category_start=0&category_end=4

+2

i gained dos pounds! no i'm not happy, but i thought i gained like 20 since i've been beasting on f0000d every hour. omgsh! ;D hahahah wellllp im off to el parqueeeee w. the cousins so that'll be some excersize<3

love

- let love come to you. don't go looking for it. i've just made one of the most difficult decisions. i'm letting go of the one person who used to make me feel like i'm on cloud 9* now he just makes me feel like complete dirt. i can't be friends w. him. it hurts. i deleted him off myspace, deleted our pictures together, deleted his AIM, & deleted his number. is it drastic? no. i've needed to do this for a while, no matter if i was ready to or not. it's so much better this way. i feel awful w.out you, but in the end, i'll be able to fall for someone who'll catch me, & who won't catch someone else.

- if you love someone who's treating you like shit ; who knows you love them & isn't wanting to commit to you full-time or just brushes it off - LET THEM GO.
easier said than done, but you deserve real love than just blind love.<3

Andrea

is my bestfriend indeed, but she's not my only one.
& i honestly h8' how it's such a problem how close we are.

Daniris Pacheco + Josh Rodriguez are my other bestfriends who i adore w. all my heart.
Kim Panagopolous+ Alicia Davis are my rly' close friends who i love just as much, but i've known them the shortest.

& Esmarlin is my cousin, but she's like my other half. & we've known eachother all our lives.

i don't put Andrea up on a pedestal. i love all my buds equally & for their own reasons. i have a different relationship w. each person. but honestly i gotta say when i look into the future, i see myself always being friends w. Andrea. not that i'm saying i can't be friends w. everyone else, but if we've been bestfriends for this long, w. all the shit we've been thru & i can still cry to her like i did the first day we met, then that'll never change. we're 10 years man. & it's gna keep going. put up w. it or shut the fuck upp.

twilight & Saw

so me & my cousins were watching Twilight lastnight at like 5 in the am. & since Esmarlin had no cable for a month, & shes a crazed Twilight fan, she knows like every fucking line & scene by heart. annoying at helll hahah & she was pointing out all the mistakes in the movie + it was sooo hilarious! like they took scenes and put it in again, & she noticed the littlest but funniest things like the wierd people running in the backround, and a little girl in the gym scene. and the way rob's lips were when they were kisssing! hahaha it was hilarous . g00dtimes w. them' <3

oh & this morning from 1-8am, me Esmarlin + Randhy were watching all the Saw movies, since E didn't see Saw 1 cause she's a tard lololll. it was soo funny, but i finallly get it alll =]

just 1 sign.

at my lowest point yet, i was on the phone w. andrea, venting about my current situation & she was telling me how she + her friend cassandra were in the same love rut as i, & they asked for a sign and it worked. so andrea's all like 'just ask for a sign if you're lost. it'll work' & im like 'okaay suuuuuure', but then i thought, you know , why not? so i asked for a sign. & immediately right after, i started looking for certain places that sign might be given to me in, & andrea says i'm not supposed to look, it has to just happen & it doesn't happen right after.

the next day i got the sign. i won't specifically say what it was since that certain person dick'rides my blogger (JK) but he see's this. all i gotta say is this awesome quote from Kill Bill :

revenge is a dish best served cold.

;D

selfless

- i wanna be happy. but i also want you to be happy as well. don't share the same feelings? fine. but don't lie to me . & don't make me feel like shit, even though that hasn't stopped you before from making me feel like legit nothing. it's whatever. i want you to be happy, & if you're happy so am i. plus, i deserve to be w. someone who doesn't suck :]

finallly

i went shoppping! lmao, i honestly LOATHE shopping. i mean so much time, effort & thought goes into it. size, texture, color, appeal like c'monnn man! & especially, where do you shop?! - i know my ass quit shoppping at AJ Wrights 3 years ago, after i seen some girl have the same shirt as me in school one day -_- i h8' that! - but as much as i h8 it, i NEEDED some new gear doood. well since my loving fam gave me 100 bucks for this trip, i went aallll out. & my aunt put 2 of my jeans on her JC penny card, so i was like chyeaaah b0iii :) but i left some mooolah left over so when we visit W. DC, i can buy my fam some gifts :)


oh after the malllll, we all went swimmmming. i'm like a fish in the waterrr. i was on a swim team when i was 6, & after that i didn't swim for a whiile & i forgot/ stoooopid me, and when i got in the water today, it's like i never even forgot :] coool beans.

randhy & I

fight all the fucking time lmao. no we kiddd, but there's never a second that goes by where we're not disagreeing on something or hitting eachother lolll . if you're wondering, randhy is my older cousin . i haven't seen him in, oh i would say, since i was liiiiike 10 before this trip. that's a fucking tripp man. mostly the reason behind that is, he's just not an outside person kinda. so i don't blame him. i don't like seeing some of my family either, like when my rents are like 'lets go to abuela's house' im like 'nooo thanksss', heheh. i thought it be wiiicked akward, cause we were never the closest in the famm, but omg we have way so much in common, even though he's 22 but i feel like hes my age. - he's flippppin' awesome + hilariousssss. last'night he called me 'the outsider of the group' cause every year previous, esmarlin shary & all my other cousins would go spend summer's @ my relatives house, and i never did. it hurt my feelings -_- but now he no longer thinks of me as the outsider. yay :]

- reason

k now i know i haven't rly been updating this as much as i should, but the point of me being on vacation in VA is to have fun, experience new things & get away from everything that i know & revolves around Mass, right?

lemme be honest. i also haven't been writing cause' certain events, involving a certain boy, that have upsetted me took me away from doing the things that i love.

FUCK THAT. i'm not gna shit ruin my summer. this is the best summer yet. i'll deal w. shit when i go home.

- i talk to my parents every day. my friends always call, buuut they call at the wrong times loll & i can honestly say i'm not homesick. i'm having fun & it took me 2 weeks to finally be content :] - it's grr8' <3

We Are Golden ...

= my new favorite song. It's by Mika. honestly he's like one of the best singers of our generation. it's such a catchy & powerful song :] ughhh im addicted!<3 listen to iiiiiiiiit. it's obvv not a real vid but yeah. i can't w8 till it actually comes out!<33 -







&& if you loved this, you'll loo0o0ve 'Love Today' , 'Grace Kelly' & 'Big Girl (You Are Beautiful)'

i'm tellling you , he's gna take over music ;)

lip piercing hatred

i hate lip piercings. every bitch has em ' .
its fucking ew. it looks like a cold sore, for one
especially in gold? YUXCK. thats extremely uglyyy.
idk i've never been a fan of lip piercings.
but i love daniris's (bestfriend) lip piercing. it looks awesome on her
if you're not her, your l.piercing is lame :]
you know what i wannna see?! more fucking eyebrow piercings! & monroe's!
i love monroe's! omfg. but only a few people can pull that shit off. you gotta have a certain look.
the onlii people i know who look gr8' w. eyebrow piercings are my friends yesenia & kenzie. they hottttt w. it :D
& then theres the unique piercings, like the one's that look like teardrops, which ive only seen one girl do that & its wicked sickk man, like so coool & piercings on the side of each eye, which my boo kim has :]

IHATETONGERINGS - you look like a slut w. that

septum piercings are ONLY nice if you have a certain attitude
& nose piercings are just played outtt.

i'm not a piercing person. i got my cartilage pierced TWICE by daniris, and the first time i got it done, it hurt like mad! the second time, it got wicked infected & to this day, theres stil a fucking blood clot in it :x - ill stick w. my plain jane look thankyouverymuch

fulll house!

soo my little cousin chari arrived heree & woke me and esmarlin upp by yelling 'wake up!' 5 x's str8' -_- lollll. crazy how she looks 16 & she's actually 11 :O goshhhhhh . welp yeah its wierd being around her cause i never rly' gotton to know her and sheit, but hopefully i do so heree. :]

so0o0o

this is how shit's beeen l8'ly here in vir-gyna (canadian talk) lmaoo

- we've been going to alottta swimming poools, & parks & such
- we've been able to get randy out his rooom to watch movies w., listen to new music, scare us & play these neat / addicting ass games .
- i play some sort of mario game everyday & im never sick of it.
- me, e&d are nocturnal mo'fos
- i'm not as homesick as i was a week ago
- i beast on foood here, causing me to gain another person on my body
- i excersize at least twice a week w. esmarlin
- & i've been reading alot here. 'speciiallly harry potter & the deathly hollows

everythingsss gr8' heree :] my lil cousin chari's coming here tmrw' & im kinda excited to see her <3

& oh, this is prettty damn random but i misss my darling rican homo's <3

(JR & JF) - who don't fucking keeeep in contact. bitch'asses. love you? hahah :)

i'm an owl ?

fuckk yeah dooood! i'm legit nocturnal. i went to bed @ 12 this afternoooon. force right? i just woke upp @ 5.32ish? craaaazy stufff. i blame my cousins randy & esmarlin - randy for showing us them crazy addicting games (stepmania & pagel) & esmarliiin for making bomb'sweet ass coffee every morning around 5 am. whats g0000000000d w. not sleeeeping. hahaha its funny cause i went to bed after all of em; & they're still knocked out as i type. esmarlin's on the couchhh , dead. & randy prob is tooo haha. oh welll - sleeep alll day, kick ass all night :]

harrrrry potttttttter!

so 2 nights ago, my relatives take me & esmarlin & my cousin johnny to the movies to see HP :] gasssed, cause ive beeen a harry potter fan since that shit first came out back in idk 2001? hahha ive seen every movie on the premire night & idk im like totally enchanted by the franchise teheh ;] so yeah the virginia movie theatres? its like , idk connected to a mall and its soooooo big! like the blackstone of VA haha. and like we're getting foood right, so we get condiments right after and some girl like reached to get a straw, cause my uncle was right there and when she pulled her arm back, she pulled my uncle's drink back too and it fell all over the girl & on the floooooor. i fucking died laughing, so i walked awayy cause i couldnt stand there & keep a str8' facee haha. but yeah we walk in the movie, mad packed! omfg, & there's like maaaad redhead's too0o0o. lol i thought it was c000000l ;* but yeah overall, HP & The Half-Blood Prince was amaaaaaaazing. omfg ; like my fav HP movie since Order Of The Phoenix. gosh, you gotttta see it . it's got action, scary moments, romance & the sadddest final scene everrrrrr! ): i'm reading Deathly Hollows as we speak - im so pumpeddd for when the last 2 movies come outtt! holllllerrrrrrr.

mm'

so drama sucks.
obvvv.
i gotta stop having lying friends
deadassss.

getttting homesick

yeah.
i still can't believe i'm going home around 8'15
so friggin long away ):
don't get me wrong, virginia's amaaazing
but i'm used to shitty worcester.

it's just like andrea said:

"worcester's one of those places where everyones dying to leave and they're like 'i wanna get the fuck outta here' but when you actually do leave, you wanna come back cause you miss it that much"

i miss andrea. i miss all my bestfriends, in general
i miss my dog, i miss my dad, mom & brother.
dood, i just fucking miss home<3

day 3

welll i know, ive been slacking on the daily blogss so lemme regroup - yesterdayy, i woke up around 3.30 . force, right? haha totallllllly. my aunt&uncle toook me, my cousins & grandma to some military base pool. you see, my Uncle Jay works in the military & whatnot, and they move around alot like crazy, but thats besides the point - anyhoo, this pool's mad exclusive & you need to be like a navy/marine/military person or family to swim in it & shit, when i seen the pool im like "hells' yeah this is exclusive" it was some maaaad nice, long pooool & they had like tons of blue laying down chairs, reserved for people. & they had a slide tooo :] i was in thereeee! haha. then after we went to the market & my aunt let us get ANY FOOD our fat hearts desired & i fucking like jizze in my pants - lmaooo! i got about everything digestable ;] hahaha & i beasted on that shit lastnight. omg speaking of lastnight, esmarlin wanted to get the DS from the living room, & we heard our other cousin Randy's door open, but yeah we went to the kitchen & it was quiet as fuck & we're like "where did randy go?" & right after we said that, a loud ass BOO & a hand touched my shoulder , & outta fear i punched esmarlin in the face ACCIDENTLY ! when im scared, punching is my number one reflex for some reason , and esmarlin fell to the flooor & like blacked out for a goood 2 min LMAO! i was like omg sorrrrrrrry! hahaha x] oh & then around 4, i TRIED watching Eagle Eye, but i was too confused, and too damn tired. i snooozed hardbody after that

day 2

so lastnight me & esmarlin stayed up till 6', watching 'the number 23' & it was soo illll & craazy! haha, & we got up around 2.30 - l8'er on , we walked to the park w. my auntie, uncle & lil cousin . we swanggg on the swings for a bit, & esmarlin couldn't land for shit lmao. then we played HORSE & i smoked esmarlin, cause i know how to ballllllll ;D & that was basicallly it for my day. tmrw we're going to the navy base pooool, which has mad slides so im stoked. <3

"it's a promise"

i got my trust back & my dearest babe back :]
i've missed her a bunch, & it sucked when she was mad @ me .
loveeeeeeeeyaaaaa<3

i feel

like i got stabbed in the stomach .
it was a slap in the face seeing your page today
i have no reason whatsoever to be mad, because your not mines
but i have every reason to feel hurt.
i don't know whats going on w. us or you
- it's fine.
...you know who you are.
talk to me when you figure out what, or better yet, WHO you want.

k have you guys ever

- let people who are in relationships cheat? better question, have you ever let a friend mess around w. someone who was in a relationship? i think we all can say that we have, at least once. idk why we do it ; maybe because we don't wanna preach to our friends the wrongs about infidelities , but i mean its their lives & their bodies & their choices right? what does that say about you? you could be a person who's totally against unfaithfulness, but if you know someone cheating on their significant other & you're not making an effort to try showing them their ways or stopping it, are you adding on to the trouble? i'm the kinda person who's totallllllly against cheating - to me, i'd rather be w. a liar than a cheater ; but i have let so many of my friends cheat on their girlfriends/boyfriends or i have let my close friends be the "other woman/dood" . i mean, i'll obv give them my words of wisdon & advice, but regardless thats THEM, not me.

not too long ago, my friend & my bestfriend hooked up - not exactly hooked up, but they madeout & sheeit. my guy friend hadd'a gf at the time ; his girlfriend of a year, nonetheless. my bestfriend kept telling me "i'm not gna be the other woman' i'm not gna kiss him" cause he was seriously all over my bestie & like dick'riding her lol but anyhooo, we came pack from the park & i was on Twitter, and i was like 'guys what do you wan' & my question came to a serious halt when i heard the sounds of lip smacking. lemme tell you, I HATE KISSING NOISES! ughh! they disgusttt meee! lmao but i turned around & saw them making out. i whispered 'stop you nasties!' but they laughed & kept going - i Twittered it and everythinggg!:

"eww. people playing tonsil hockey in my presence. gagggging!8:29 PM Jun 19th from web"

Listening to tunes w ._________ - lastnight was too crazy . Feeling a lil' guilty /:11:55 AM Jun 20th from mobile web
i rly did feeel guilty! i know it wasn't my problem, nor business but the dood's girlfriend? we were friends at one point, until she copped an attitude & i was wicked mean to her /:

& another situation : another bestfriend of mines used to go out w. her boyfriend for like imma say 5 months? & when they broke up, they still hoooked up & everything. they cheated on all their girlfriends/boyfriends w. eachother & theyre like craaaazy in love /. i dont find this situtation bad, because they loved eachother

which brings me to another point. is cheating still wrong, if you're doing it w. the person you love? i don't think its that bad, & it sounds wrong, but that last situation, i completely understand. i've read once that the reason why people cheat on their siginificant others, is that the person theyre in a relationship w., doesn't have everything or isn't everything the person who's cheating wants or ever wanted. w. my bestfriend, she cheated on all her bf's because she kept comparing her former bf's to the guy she's in love w. - she never once cheated on the boy she loved, because he's perfect for her.

i've never cheated on my boyfriends before, but i've had a former flame get at my bestfriend while we were talking. iguess i call it equivilant as cheating & it suckedd.

my point is this- if you're standing around, letting your friend cheat, thats not good, even if it isnt your problem - it just makes YOU look bad, & if your letting your friend cheat, you might as well be cheating on your bf/gf since you have no problem letting your friend do so - & if you're the other woman/dood, get a brain & grow some balls & give the person the ultimatum wether to be w. you or let you go - stan up for yourself & make your self'worth be known. & lastly, if you're cheating on someone w. somebody/or other people in general :

1) you suck
2) you're disrespectful
3) karma will mop you l8'er on .
4) you don't know what you want, so make up your mind.

-hopefully you've read this thouroughly & take what i've written into consideration & learn from the mistakes & progress & do better<3>

OMG

so i went into my aunt's bathrooom to take my morning peee, & i weighed myself on her scale. - I LOST 5 POUNDS!! ahhhhhh :D obvvv, not alot but im progresssin doood! hahah if i keeep up this biking, running, walking & boxing crap, i could be losing maybe 25 (lets hope!) before the summer's over! :] yay for excersize & kudos to esmarlin for making me workout w. her lollll .

day 1

welpppp during our first night in VA, esmarlin's feet were like antfuckingartica and she was tryna get warmth from mines, & im like "chill dogg lmao" cause in the whole house, its super cold cause it had like maaad air conditioning! lol, which @ first i hateddd cause i h8' being cold but after being outside for 2 hours, bike riding and walking, the air conditioning came in handy ;] lol Virginia's wiiiicked hot here! it's 99 degrees as i type. lmao - but i love it :] i call my family like every hour though ' oh & i looove how my bestfriends call me while im here - NOT! fucking pricks ): -_- except for andrea lol . but yeah, idk it's a whole new world out here for me - i never get outta worc, i mean Mass in general but i'm loving it . i'm most likely not gna get to do this next year, since ill be preping & going out to NY for college so yeaah . i love my fam heree & they treat me like royalty. i mean, im a spoiled child, lemme admit, but im not a brat about it at all, so im so very appreciative of everything that i've been giving out here - i soo cant w8' for the weekends, where we get to'go to kings dominion & the pooool :)holller man. <333

a'doggg<3

k this is gna sound like rly homo, but fuck it, i love my bestfriend :D her name's Andrea Leanne Carenzo Vasquez (bahahah!) & she's legit been there for me since 6.12.00 , yeah fucking 9 years nagggger & when you've known a person for that long, you get attatched - hahaa, i tell her pretty much everything & she knows me so well.
=] she finishes my sentences, we like to follow people we hate, we do the most asshole things to eachother, like have saliva fights! omfg eww hahahah and she tells the people i like, how i feel for them - its coool, cause i blackmail her like crazyy when it comes to "hey part 1-6" LMAO insider ;] i remember when we snuck luis insider her sisters house and she punched me in the booob in the dark and i bitch slapped the fuck outtta her. so fucking priceless x) oh & we're the fattest people alive cause we know road runner's menu by heart. also, i was her first girl kissss x) hhollllllla. and oh, we dated for hmm 2 min? lmao it was a bombb 60 seconds hahaha. but i could go on of course cause i got 9 years of memories, but im hungry lmao so yeah i adore my sister/bestfriend/guru :D

sunday 7'12

soo i left around 11.30 w. esmarlin & my grandparents. i bawled my fucking eyes out, like no jokes. i haven't been outside of the st8' for more than a day since i was 6 dogg, so i was crying O'd . i kissed my parents like a bajillion of times & especiallly my dog. i was wicked upset for the first 2 hours in the van, but after that, i wasnt thinking about it too much. it was a 10 hour long car ride, but we stopppped at mickey's, KFC & DD's which was swe :] omfg the chicken at KFC?! FORCE! for 8 pieces, its 19.95 & for 20 pieces its 40 bucks! sooo glad i don't like in NY hahah. so this is how it went in order:

-Mass
-Conneticut
- NY
- New Jersey
-Delaware
- Pennsylvania
- Maryland

then virginia :) we got here at exactly 11 pm, and my cousin randy baked us some bombbb ass brownies & whatnot which was sweet :] OMFG my aunt's house?! AWEEEESOMEEE!

3 living rooms, 2 bathrooms, a patio, 5 computers, 6 bedrooms, a workout room, dining room, 3 chimney's & a balcony .plus it has stairs & shit

god, was i gassssed xD lmao
plus, our uncle got me&smiley our own comp's! :DDDD lol

im wicked excited to be spending a month here ; sure i'll get homesick at some points, but its true what everyones been saying. i NEEDED to get outta worc, Mass in general! i mean, if cant handle a month, how can i move out for good, for college & shit? i neeed'a grow balls & be independent. but i miss my fam + friends like mad, but im gna have fun heree :] hollla for new experiences<3

oh + fuck drama while im out here ;]

welppppp i'm gone

it's 11:26 am & im not even dressed yet
my relatives should be scoooping me & esmarlin up like about this time
FUCK
she's still deadasleep & im in denial that im leaving
i know, i know im making it a totallly bigger issue than what it is,
but dammit, i havent been out of the st8' longer than a week since i was 6
thats crazy - im too stuck on worc. -_-
fuckkkkkkkkkk! the dooorbelll just ranggggg!
fuckfuckfuckfuck
k im outtttt. text me , calll me , anythinggggg
XOXO, byeeee[:

i h8 !

i h8 guys. deadasssss they pisss me offf. theyre fucking disgusting. ugh wtf is this shit? so upsetttttttttt. they can suck my left nut, omfg - like ugh i rly' just give uppp.

??

i should be happy right?
i mean, theyre over
i cant believe it
but they are
but im not happy.
...
i need to figure out what i wanna say .
but for the first time in a long time, im scared.

fuck you

i h8' you sooooooooo much.
yeah it's a strong word, but it's a strong emotion!
i honestly can't believe i let myself get to caught up .
i'm honestly dissapointed in myself , especially expressing to you how i feel
i knew the rumors, but now i know the truth
you're scum, you're a cheat & a liar.
i wanna cry so bad right now, but i won't let myself
i should've known
i should've stopped myself since last year,
but love is fucking blinding, and i couldn't see what i see now.
fuck you.

i think

im rly rly rly rly rly IN LIKE w. you
but i gotta get over you. you have a girlfriend
but there's SOMETHING holding me back.
i have hope ; and a feeling you have feelings for me back<3
oh god, i wish.
but maybe we're just supposed to be friends.
it's wierd w. you
you're the only person i was scared to tell i like them
& i wanna tell you how strongly i feel
but im terrified. & thats not normal of me
but hey, wtf is normal ?

oh gosh

so today's my last day in worcester, & by tmrw morning i'll be in Virginia for a month. i should be real excited, right? i mean my aunt&uncle are spoiling the fuck outttta us and they're taking us everywhere, plus im getting outta Worcester for a change. but im not happy.

i get homesick easily, & im already homesick. im gna miss my dog, friends + obvv family like crazyyyyyy.

+ today's the day this douche actually talks to me, after weeks, which makes me wannna fucking cry ):

& i finally got ahold of josh after amonthh

seriously, like im a wreck, but i cant turn back. this experience will be gr8' <3

A<3

i adore me & andrea's l8' night phone convo's - this shits a ritual :] lmao ilove you maaan ♥

dyke

lmfao, i lo0o0ove how stupid girls who are hardcore lesbians claim to be all straight & bash being gay. and then they have pictures on their page w. their girlfriend. bahahah fucking hypocrite - you're butt. ride on the lesboo train, awful dyke :)

old flame.

i was shocked when you hit me uppp; not gna lie. - the convo was going pretty smooth, for once but till' you said something that made me realize you're never gna changeeee.


9:08 PM
hows the love life doood?
……………………………………………………………………
9:08 P
its ok but would be better if u was in it ;]

the reason i'm not in it, is cause you hoe around many times. and you fuck around w. skanks & you're not recruiting me into that clubbbb of whore's . never, ever.

kinda sucks. we couldve had somethinggg - but we're on different paths and that's why we cant be friends dogg.

i swear,

fuck this world, maaaaan. like it's Proposition 8 [ or should i say h8'] all fucking over againnnnnnn .



http://www.bostonherald.com/news/national/northeast/view/20090708gay_marriage_foes_reach_signature_goal_in_maine/srvc=home&position=recent

like wtf's rly' gooood man?! i swear, i thought in the fucking constitution or bill of rights it said we have a right to the pursuit of happiness or something, like gimmme a fucking break. im not into the marriage crap, but dammit the LGBT community deserves some equality, and fucking rights! its just not fair >.< so i've made myself a personal promise : whenever or IF i decide to ever tie the knot w. someone, wether it be guy or girl, i'm not doing so until' all people, the gays in general, can have the right to marriage. Charlize Theron & Stuart Townsend are doing the same, including the mega beautiful people Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt. i swear, if Harvey Milk were still alive, he'd be the voice of the LGBT comminuty. honestly, what MLKJr did for blacks, Harv Milk could've definetely done for the gays. R.I.P HM <3 & hopefully one day we can overcome this shallow discrimination.

oh & wanna know something else thats fucked up?! sodomy is still illegal in some states! in case some of you dont know, sodomy basically means anal sex, comonly between 2 men, and its fucking still illegal, along w. being gay! like being gay is illegal?! i haven't heard about that since the early fucking 70's omfg. but yeah 87 st8's illegallized being gay. fucking pigs. i deadass h8' our world, like omfg. in those 37 st8's, you could get fired for being homosexual. i mean ugh!? im so relieved and proud to live in a st8' that accepts people for who they are and who they love. WHOOO HOOO for MASS! =]

=]

welppppp today was a preety coool day :] kim & jenn scoooped me up @ 12 to go to the mallll =] i was on the prowl for a sexy bikini, cause we have this new rule, which is when we hit uppp a beach or poool, its a MUST to wear kini's cause we be sexy ;] lmao but yeah soo kim told me how she went to wet seal and got a nice bikini for 20dollars alltogether, and im all about keeepin it cheap so i was all over it, and i went and got a large top & large bottom, but WTF if was small -_- soo i settled for obvvv xtra large top/bottom, cause my breasts & bottom are too huge apparantly, and kim told me to try on this rly' cute black&white striped kini' w. red strings and OMG! i fell in love w. it doggg :] bahah so im like YAY! lets get it . and then after kim shopped at hollister and forever 21 cause shes white and im cheap hahah so then we seeeen our bbygurl christine & we gagged ;] hahah and i still had about 40 bucks left , and i havent shopped in like fucking ages so im like ahhhh retail therapy ;] hahah so i bought this cute ass heart/cross silver necklace from claire's and omg victoria's secret, or as i like to call it, vicki's shittalking, OMG! huuuuuuge sale! i bought soap, shaving gel, perfume, candles & a keychain for fucking 15 bucks alltogether! :D yay. & afterrrr' we a8' @ the fo0o0od court & got some bombbbb ass chino food dood & me + jenn embarrassed kim O.D at american eagle, by dancing ridiculously & acting like dykes :D lmao. gooodtimes ;] sooo after spending 5 hours at the mall, me + kim go to group & i met this awesome ass tranny named christina who deadass, was the hottest girl ive ever seen, regardless of the fact if she was a tran ;] lmao. group is always fun :] hahah i love the gays, ya know?! so group ended at 9' & kim's mom took us to CVS to get some facial shiit, so we went w. peter + dan, fellow gays from group and we ran cvs x) hahah, omfg cheap ass shit over theree ! idk why but im like in looove w. CVS? pretty fucking lame, huh ? oh well :] that was my dayyyyy, & now im pooooped and im gna watch some'more degrasssi . l8'errrrrrrrrr<3

(sighs)

welllll, i figuered it out. not only do i like boys w. girlfriends, i like douchebags. -

why can't he fucking understand that i miss him.. alot. and that i wanna be w. him... badly


]: ugh fuck. i just wannna talk to him<3

937

days that ive been in love♥


whoooooope.

BITCH!

Xxmyk (9:06:26 PM): oh btw your not coming friday brittany is instead sorry :]
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:07:19 PM): huhhh ?
Xxmyk (9:07:26 PM): your not coming to the beach friday
Xxmyk (9:07:32 PM): brittany is instead of you
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:07:36 PM): are you serious ?
Xxmyk (9:07:42 PM): obviously
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:07:49 PM): why?
Xxmyk (9:08:02 PM): because shes chill and wont argue the wholetime
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:08:12 PM): mhmmm ?
Xxmyk (9:08:24 PM): yup
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:08:28 PM): thats a force
Xxmyk (9:08:33 PM): not really
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:08:41 PM): hopefullly youre kiddding
Xxmyk (9:08:56 PM): nope im serious
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:09:09 PM): k then.
Xxmyk (9:09:17 PM): alright
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:09:21 PM): bye
Xxmyk (9:09:27 PM): byee whoree
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:10:48 PM): deadass dood, if you're serious, youre like the worst friend ive ever had.
Xxmyk (9:10:54 PM): thanks
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:12:22 PM): why are you being like this ?
Xxmyk (9:12:28 PM): im really not
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:12:38 PM): you didnt answer the question
Xxmyk (9:12:51 PM): im not being anything computerthugg
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:13:05 PM): computerthugg? so then call me
Xxmyk (9:13:15 PM): on the phone alreddy sorry
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:13:55 PM): whatever. you just lost my friendship . i didnt do shit to you kim, remember that.
Xxmyk (9:14:18 PM): okay um i dont see why a friendship should be lost due to you not coming but alright :]
xdarlanneduhhhx (9:14:59 PM): because thats a dirt thing to do. like outta nowhere to kimi dont get it
Xxmyk (9:15:19 PM): jokes always come out of nowhere thats the fun of it :]



fucking asshole >.< LMAO

i fucking hate this line! rejection, acting on things & being brave

i've been watching alot of shows and movies lately, all gay related & every fucking time someone tries coming' out to like their parents or friends, & when they dont approve their sexuality , this is the line they say

"we all have feelings for our friends, but that doesn't mean we should act on em"

or something like that.

BULLLLSHIT.!

i mean, why shouldn't you act on your feelings? whats so bad about it, ya know? im not even talking about gay/lesbian/bi people, im talking about in general dood. if you have a strong feeling about something, too strong to ignore, go afuckinghead! go for it! - take that chance. everytime i like soembody, my ass tells them, even if i feel like theyre outta my leaugue because i rather know the truth than sit & wonder like an idiot " what if" ya know? like ugh! pisses me offff! thats why closeted people and chicken shit scared people disgust me. if you're gay, fucking rep that shit! like i know people are scared, because society is unaccepting of gay/lesbian people, especially towards transgendered too , but dont fucking say you're straight AND bash gay people. i know tons of bitches like that and i wannna honestly smack em ' like w. me? k, im not saying im gay, nor straight cause honestly im one of those people who doesnt allow themselves to be labeled - im a fucking person, and i like what i like. but like damn, all im saying is people should ALWAYS act on how they feel when it comes to relationships/love. like i hate those people who are scared of rejection, like WTF we're not in the 5th grade ya know, grow the fuck up, grow some balls, also & just let it outtt . yeah rejection sucks hardcore, but wtf can you do? take it from someone whos been rejected tons of times, you get immune to it when it happens over & over (; lmao. here's what to do when you get rejected :

* make a joke out of it
*don't take it seriously, and act like it doesn't bother you
*DON'T CRY IN FRONT OF THEM.
* dont speak to em' for like 2 days, and then when you talk to them, act like nothing ever happened.
* DONT MAKE IT AKWARDDDDDDDD.
* don't bring up the situation, unless they do or unless they're acting like a jerk


when i liked a girl for the first time, i told her. (actually, she found out and confronted me about it, and i couldnt say no, lmao) but nevertheless i sorta told her . she didnt return those feelings but im glad she knew, when i told the boy i loved how i felt, it hurt like a bitch, especially when i cried in his bathroom and i could barely speak - but, i never feel stupid at all. i feel always relieved and proud that i had the cojones to take a chance. people, just fucking live and not think, k? (;

x]

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary. If it happens, you blog it. And you make it as entertaining as possible. You may be guilty of over-sharing a bit on your blog, but you can't help it. Your life is truly an open book. Or in this case, an open blog!

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

yay! found ittt!

soo deadass man, for like weeks ive been trying to look for this old website i used to go on to take lil quizzes to put on my myspace. oh c'mon, i know you all remember, having those lame ass bzoink quizzes on your page, and them stupid glitter icons and whatnot lmao. well after centuries of looking, i finally found the damn website! :D it's blogthings.com & im mad gassssssed. tons of lame quizzes that im dying to take ;] hollller ballller;

10 things i hate about you.

i hate the way you talk to me & the way you cut your hair,
i hate the way you drive my car i hate it when you stare.

i hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind
i hate you so much it that makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.

i hate the way you're always right, i hate it when you lie
i hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry

i hate the way you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call
but mostly i hate the way that i don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit,
not even at all .♥

MJ

couple dayss ago my mom bought MJ's greatest hits cd or whatever . i was just watching his memorial service on MTV, and ive been watching his vid's movies & doc's. sounds obsessive but i still can't believe it. a legend is dead, and people like me dont wanna believe it /: i hate how the fucking media is maaad fake. like cause when he was alive, no jokes everybody thought he was dirttt cause of the pedophilia roumers and now that hes gone everybody wanna say he was their hero. bulllshit ; id be a fucking liar if i didnt think MJ was innocent of them charges - soemtimes i actuallly thought he did, but it never affected how i felt about his music and how he improved and changed the music industry. he was fucking wow... like a legend, icon, idol & just the bombest dancer/preformer. RIP dogggg<3> -p.s nobodyyy can dance like you do, not even chris brown so back the fuckkk upp dooood. ill be doing the mooonwalk more often from now on (;

taynaaah!

k soo before the night of sunday got terrible, we were walking back from eastpark, we came across a prostitute, who was gettin into some doood's car lmao. we could tell she was a hoooker cause of her bleach blonde hair and her outfit (mind you, she waswearing a bikini bra) hahah soo we were like oh snaaaap! haha but yeah then we saw her again, while crossing aurther st and kim goes up to herr and is like 'haaay! im a tranny' and she's like you work it!' lmfao and i kid you not, she was in her car, in the middle of the road , chatting it up w. us and she took a picture of us from her phone lmfao soo we took a pic w. her :D and she said her name was tina, but she was shittyfaced drunk so she said it like "TAYYYNUH hahahah. she was the bombbbb dooode. misss you girl! try and finddd us wherever you areee .!<33


xdarlanneduhhhx (6:45:59 PM): me tooo!
xdarlanneduhhhx (6:46:02 PM): lyk alottt ):
xdarlanneduhhhx (6:46:08 PM): hahah she was badasss and fiercee
Xxmyk (6:46:14 PM): like to much for my own good!
xdarlanneduhhhx (6:46:20 PM): we shoulve got her digits lmao
xdarlanneduhhhx (6:46:22 PM): me toooo!
xdarlanneduhhhx (6:46:31 PM): lyk im about to cry just thinking about her
Xxmyk (6:46:43 PM): your not even lieinn
xdarlanneduhhhx (6:46:56 PM): ]:
xdarlanneduhhhx (6:47:01 PM): maybe she has a myspace?
Xxmyk (6:47:42 PM): whats her lastname?
xdarlanneduhhhx (6:48:18 PM): idk
Xxmyk (6:49:17 PM): we should do a Tayynahh amberalert

xdarlanneduhhhx (7:05:23 PM): hahahah the pic of taynaa is priceless! =]
Xxmyk (7:05:45 PM): haha i knoww
Xxmyk (7:06:48 PM): i just died laughing at the TAYNAH pic
xdarlanneduhhhx (7:07:14 PM): hahaha me tooo
!shes the fucking bombbbb
xdarlanneduhhhx (7:07:23 PM): lmfaooo shes going on our blogs' l))
xdarlanneduhhhx (7:07:26 PM): *)
Xxmyk (7:07:46 PM): dead ass ima bout to put her on my page and say shes wife
xdarlanneduhhhx (7:08:15 PM): hahaha hopefullly we see her again someday (;
Xxmyk (7:08:34 PM): i know i want her to adopt us
xdarlanneduhhhx (7:09:03 PM): hahahhaha deadasss
xdarlanneduhhhx (7:09:11 PM): she made me wannna be a hooker for a milisecond xD
Xxmyk (7:09:22 PM): im gonna be a hooker just for her
Xxmyk (7:09:58 PM): omfg
Xxmyk (7:10:06 PM): TAYNAHHH!
xdarlanneduhhhx (7:10:56 PM): hahaha whaaat?
Xxmyk (7:11:06 PM): taynahh
xdarlanneduhhhx (7:11:16 PM): lmao ohh i thought you found her space' ):
xdarlanneduhhhx (7:11:30 PM): it its meant to be, we'll see her again, Miley Cyrus shit ;]

"what is your greatest strength?"

k soo, i went to my app. w. kate today & we had our usual chat, and i told her about my chaotic weekend loll then i brought up defense mechanisms and like phsychology crapp and i said that laziness is my hugest weakness, and she asked me "what do you think is your biggest strenth?" and i couldntt answerrr at alll, so she gave me a website to go on and take a quiz to see what it is, soo i went home and i just finished taking it . my biggest strength is 'Love' & 'Kindness' and it saaaaaiiiid :

Love : Valuing close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated; being close to people; Capacity to love and be loved - You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you

Kindness [generosity, nurturance, care, compassion, altruistic love, "niceness"]Doing favors and good deeds FOR others; helping them; taking care of them Kindness and generosity. You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds FOR others, even if you do not know them well.


pretty damn true if i say so myself x) i mean after this weekend, i honestly feeel i do things alot for other people . i'm a rly' selfless person, dammit! hah, wellllp if you wanna take this quiz, finding out what your strength is , here's the linkkk - http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Tests/SameAnswers_t.aspx?id=270

worst nighttttttt

july 5'09 = worst night everrr, minus Tina the Prostitute, the fireworks & the 2 cuties . i regret tonsss, and usuallly i dont regret anything but i regret soo much that night. guys are fucking awful, i swear.

whatthefuck'sg00d

w. doood's these days?! omfg

-_-

dooood my headaches have been super fucking killler l8'lyyy. omfg' i cant stand emm', and looking at the light fucking makes it worsee.


>.<

laguna beach

i misss that show! ]: 3rd season was wackk & maui beach or w.ever the fuck it was, like c'mon . im glad that i bought the whole 2nd season though soo haaaay ;)

:-]

k this is my cousin esmarlin to the lefttt <- (: we've been getting under eachothers skin since we were about 4. we always fight, argue & disagree but we be having the funniest moments alsoo. plus we're like almost always together so i cant ever rly' get sick of her cause thats fam & she's honestly one of my closest friends who's a major dick, but still. ya gotta adore that assmunch :]

6 most embarrasing moments, all in one day.

alllrightty, soo me & daniris goto DD's in st vincents' hospital, and from the moment we steppped in that hospital, humiliation shiiittted on me.

1) when we sat down and a8' our fooood, the some hottie DD's employee was near us, and i tried saying soemthing and a piece of egg fell o the side of my mouth, and my dumbass looked at the employee and he was staring. EW ]:
2) i was mocking daniris, and making like disgusting mentally retarded faces, and a turned around to fix my shirt & a doctor and his family openly stared in horror at me.

3) when i went to go buy an egg&cheese sandwhich, i was so nervous cause the guy was o'd cuuute, so this is how it went:

guy: hi, how can i help you?
me:. uh.. hi can i get a, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
guy: ....
me: im soo sorry, uhm hi can i get BAHAHAHAHAHAH
guy: (rolls his eyes,) ...
me: omg no, okayuhm HAHA, id like an egg&cheese on a bagel please
guy: okay (walks away annoyed)
daniris: (LHAO)


4) i was soo annoyed about the fact that i made an ass outta myself at DD's so when we were leaving, i randomly kicked a moving door, thinking it would open but it didnt and we just stood there and some old guy at the desk gave us a wierd look and i just busted thru the emergency door .

5) when we were walking , we came across 2 dooods on a bike, and i choked on my coffee and i started fucking coughing my lungs out to the point where i like dropped to the floor.

6) i tripped over my sandals walking in plumley in front of maaad plumley guys.



FML lmao

fuck

people need'a fucking cut me some slackkkk . deadass im so annoyed by everyone these daysss

sooo me and daniris are sittin' on her ma's beddd and we keep replaying the new TaySwift video and we're like about to breakdown. see the thingg i love about me & daniris's friendship is that we go thru the same experiences and situations ; we're both experiencing the suckness of unrequieted love and it killlllls, especially when we're in love w. dooood's who either can't commit to one girl, or who already commited his life to his girlfriend. it's killller & listening to 'You Belong With Me' was pretty sad. yuup. we're just a couple of hopeless romantics, in love w. major douchebags who hope on finding some type of Prince Charming.. or maybe Prince Caspian. yeah him, cause he was hott ;-)

video's

k soo im browsing thru MTV cause i haven't been there inn'a while and idk there's this list for new vid's and OMG they've made video's formy favorite songs!

Taylow Swift is my girl doood! like omg i used think country music was like :"oh haay wanna hear me play my banjo, while i gotta straw in my mouth , with no teeth & feed my cow rascal?" lmao asshole'y of me, but deadasss & ive been listening to her music ever since freshman year & im like "holy hellll this girl can singgg!" and when you listen to her song's its like shes your bestfriend & she knows what youre going thru! like deadass, and her songs are real, she writes them all herself and theyre all about personal experiences. soo this new vid' she has is called 'You Belong With Me' and the concept is this : this kinda nerdy, wallflower girl is maadly in love w. the typical 'boynext door' fella and obvv he's w. some bitchy chiche cheerleader snob and he doesn't rly' notice herr, but over timehe fell & she comes thru, runs the prom & looks like cinderellla ; soo cuteee!<3 A+ ! & plus her and Lucas Till' (boy in the video) iguess talk in real life. holllllllla!
Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me


the next video is 'Best I Ever Had' by Drake. OMG Drake? (real name is Aubrey Graham) lemmme say , ehh. HOT! i beeen thought he was hot since i was like 9, watching him play Jimmy on Degrassi (fav show!) but now, he;'s smoookinnn! lmao he's a bombbbb actor man, but i will him him kudos on his rappping skilllz cause the doood has talent; but when it comes to video's? no, please never make anymore videos lmao cause i honestly hate this video. i mean wtf? boooobs everywheree, stooopid ass girls & uhm basketballl? and plus they lose at the end so whats goood?! (sorry for ruining the ending), but idk. it. just. sucks. (and plus, the songs rly played out) F rating, legit.
Drake - Best I Ever Had


last video - 'Every Girl' by Lil Wayne, Drake & basicallythe whole young money crew. uhm, k? i loooooove the song. but this video? it be a whole lot bettter if it was located in a different setting, and whatthefucks goood w. the graphics? its a no'go for meee. i swear, its cause Drake was in the fucking video! lmaooo nah but idk. idont rly like it? i doo love the part where after it says 'Drake' it gets like crossed out and it says 'Jimmy' bahahah. uhmm ill give it a C-
Every Girl (Explicit)

ourr plaaaan;*

soo lately, esmarlin has been feeling pretty insecure bout' her weight. don't ask why, cause this bitch has been skinny all our lives - i was the curvy one and she was the 'model' type. (dick) lmao andddd now ever since she got a tad baby fat, she thinks shes obese (all her life shes had fast metabolism and all her years of eating recklessly has caught up to the hoee) bahah but yeah so she's like making it her mission to lose some pounds - myself, on the other hand, have always been alright w. my body . let's see, i dont have much arm fat, i have a tummmy, i have an ass, and i have huge boobs. plus my thighs are the main reason why im a size 16 in jeans (YEEEEAAAAH) and my calfs are..eh wierd - but idk, the fact that im a 16 in jeans and i can barely ever find cute ones my size, kinda makes me feel like a whale sometimes - i mean i know im not fat, but im not skinny either . im like, chubbbby iguess. but yeaah soo esmarlin'sbody is the total oppposite. like we're almost the same height (she's about 5'71/2 & im 5'6) and she's rly thin' im talking nice thin thighs, legs, and no bum :] lmao but seriously, like esmarlin could be a model in a heartbeaat buuuuut her body image is wierd soo we're both going to Virginia on 7.12 soo her plan's this : every morning, we wake up around 6 to do some stretching/yoga, then at 7 we start jogging around the navy base, cause thats where our aunt lives and we do some workout tapesafter that. like she's rly' dedicated & i sorta am too . i have no motivation when it comes to excersize cause im lazy as fuck and would rather eat a whole box of pizza then walk around the block. ew right? welll enough is enough! i would loooove to find some cute jeans and feel good about myself. i REFUSE to lose wight on my butt or thighs causeee i love em' but i do wanna tone & trim fat off my legs, arms, love handles and hipssss. toughshit but i wanna do it =] esmarlin wants to work on her barely there stomach, arms, thighs & legs - almost the same as me . so yeah we're runnnning this shit man :] can't wait for sex bodies ;D

frisuckday

welll the original planss for friday was to go see the fireworks at east park w. kim, buuuuuuut of course' its the lamest summer of all time, so obvvv the weather fucking ruined my plans & the fireworks are now postponed till' sunday so im like DIRT ]: grrr . and then i heard some shit that every 3 years, theres a cold summer' and if thats the case then like WTF? the whole purpose of me making this bloggg was to blogg about how awesomethis summer would be. i mean, yah im having fun but wtf this shits lame! the weather is the most important part of summer - its like the topping on a sundae, yaa know? oh and i dont remember having a cold summeer in 04? - anyhoooo, its whatevvvvv's cause me & esmarlin slept over daniris's house &played Diner Dash like the little uber nerds we are x] and nowww im pulling yet another all-nighter w. esmarlin - ohh and lastnight? we stayed up tilll' 5 . its now 2.31 am and we're hopinggg to make it farther. oh & tuesday night? stayed up till 10 ' lmfao FORCED huh? totalllllllly.

we're hooked! lmao

MrszANdREAbabii (1:43:38 AM): i love blogger lol
xdarlanneduhhhx (1:45:06 AM): hahah me too!
xdarlanneduhhhx (1:45:11 AM): fuck it, we're blog feinds :]
MrszANdREAbabii (1:45:21 AM): i knooo its all your fault lol
xdarlanneduhhhx (1:46:00 AM): hahah why? arent you glad youre addicted to bloggging ? :]
MrszANdREAbabii (1:46:08 AM): haha yeahh =]

tuesday was a pretty chilll day :] soo at 3 i went to my meeting w. my counselor Kate. she's wicked awesome, like and she's not one of those old' lame counselors who pretends to know what im going thru, like she actually gets me & strives to help me better myself :] so we did our usual chats & this time, we meditated for the first time & as first i was LMAO cause i never meditated before and it was akward soo yeah haha. but like it rly' felt gooood to meditate . like idk, its so soothing & i get a sense of clarity. call me lame but imma be like ghandi when it comes to meditatiing :] hahah - and then after i went to andrea's housee & chilllled , but then we got a tas bored so we went to DJ's , got tons of snacks and then we went to the park . and soo we sat on the reiling for some lame reason cause andrea didnt wanna go on the benches, bahaha so then she went to tie her hair & put her chips on the floor and the wind blew and blew almost all her chips away ! LMAOOO i was rollllling'!



& then she tried to pick em back up bahahaha i love it!

soo after minutes of convinceing her, we sit on the benches & we're just talking about almost everyone, when i get into the subject of a certain boy i like and how i think his girlfriend hates me lolll and then andrea makes a random joke & i start dying and i turn around, and there goes his girlfriend walking in the park w. her whole motherfacking fam, grilllllllllllllllling meeeee. oh man! my eyes got huuuge cause i was lyk WTF? i was JUST talking about her hahahah and me and andrea were just laughingggg outta shocknessss x) and so she leaves after 2 min, which was pointless for her to even walk in the park and soo andrea just looks at me and says "should we follow em?" and im like " shit yeah!" i mean we had nothing better to do so why not? lmfao so we're on the other sidewalk, walking beside them and it was soo funnny cause it was like a family of fuckang 6 and they stopped to cross the st and the whole fam stopped and looked right then left then right then left and walked alll in like unison hahahah it was hilariousss! but we lost em' when we stubled across our friend angel & his other friend daranna, so we chatted for a few :] & said our goooodbye's lol and we walked past the park & OMFG they tore it down!

it was the most depressing thing of the day ]: our childhood parque! ugh, shattered to smithereens lmao . shit . soo yeah then we head to jenns hosue for a bit, which was akward cause she kept tellin us to not be scared of her mom, but dood' she's a scary woman lolll . so we left and went to hanggg w. our old pal jonathan and his new fuck buddy sarah bahahha ;] kiddding but yeah loll which was pretty funny cause we heard them rap & it was pretty horrible hahah and she was babysitting some friends pup and it was so small/cute omfg i wanted to robb it cause ' it looked so miserable being w. sarah and he was all crying and shit ): lmao and sarah repetedly tells me ' dont put himon the bed' cause he pees everywhere, but i put him down for a second to scratch my back (lmao) and he automatically fucking pees all over her sheets. soo embarrasing for her! hahah i couldnt stop apologizing x) omfg the thing i love about being w. andrea, is that we both share our love of akwardnesses so its awesome :] - it was a longgggg day , & i spent it w. my broo :)

north korea bullshit

soo im at andrea's house tuesday and we start talking about the news and apparently, ive been dead this past week cause i didnt know this whole dramam between north korea & the US!

k so idk north korea's always been envous of the US cause we're the most powerful country, duh and like its getting so bad that they wanna send nuclear fucking bombs here to bomb us i guess. i was like WHAAAAA?! and it guess even worse. they aren't sure wether itll work or not so they're planning on testing it out onto Hawaii on the 4th of July, and fucking Obama doesnt know what to do ! and the funny thing is - they have their nuclear bombs on some type of ship and we know where it is and north korea knows we know where it is, but if we go on and try to take em' they threatened us, saying theyll bomb us completely iguess. and like wtf, this is the time that we NEED a war cause north korea wants a war for complete power and Obama's all like anti'war and shit. its like 'dood im anti'war too but we fucking NEED it! like we cant put Hawaii in danger like that - yeah its far from us, but its still a fucking state w. people in it regardless! ugh and now everyone's all like 'did we choose the right prez?' cause honestly, i dont mind Obama, cause im all for change & sheit, but think about it - McCain had waaay more experience in the war & he wouldve gotton us outta this shit already. i mean korea gave us a specific date for their lil experiment, and he's like a sitting duck. why would you take that chance? and ohh i guess now, like on july'4th, theres gna be a fricking navy base , surrounding Hawaii and if the nuclear bomb comes, theyre gna shoot at it - WTF? are these people idiots. regardless, we're beyond screwed cause' either theyll die from the bomb or theyll die from radiation - if you've seen The Hilla Have Eyes, you know what im talking about - theyll ending being deformed like that. ugh , its kinda suckish cause every state in the U.S signed a petition agreeing we're not using nuclear bombs ever & this is the time where we should kinda fight fire w. huge pits of hell . man, i hate this world sometimes >:/ ill blog more for updates on this topic .

The L Word

so it's like 1 am & i found a website where you can watch almost all your fav shows, no matter how old they are :] im gasssed, cause im watching the whole season 1 of The L Word ; halllla
k so The L Word is a show about these group of tight knit lesbians who like go thru mad shit like drama, love and a whoooolee buncha sex. like TONS of dyke sex lmao but its rly' goood & its my fav :] bahah idk' just thought i should blog that ;] <3