. . .

well, my internet's been on the most dysfunctional mood swings everr! it's like one minute, i have internet - the next, i don't. sheeesh. welll lemme just start w. the updates.

- i've slept over andrea's 3 days str8'
- daniris is in NY w. josh & i hate them both lol
- i'm going to kim's gay prom soon :)
- my sister brittney & I are getting closer by the days
- there's this kid who likes me, but i'm not so sure about him.
- i'm over my first love & my douchy friend .
- i'm getting a new dog soon (HOPEFULLY)
- i did most of my school shopping in VA, but i seriously need jeans & flats by the next 5 days ASAP
- oh & SCHOOOOOOOOL SUPPPLIES! always fun ;]
- i lost 4 pounds! ha'cha!
- i've been keeping my *promise, & i don't intend to break it until i'm 18.
- i rode my bike from park ave (my house) to grafton st. (andrea's) @ 10 pm tues.
- & even tho' i only spent one day of summer w. amber, on her last day too, it was wicked fun & i miss her hebrew ass a bunch!


honestly. best summer ever. k? yeaah. i'm happppy :) :)

lately

i haven't been blogging since my internet's been down for 3 days.


-_- sucks.

akwarddddddddddd.

my new sister came yesterday morning. she was different than what i expected. she's wicked shyyy, which made it akwardd, which made me a little tight. we went to the movies w. esmarlin, my dad & brian. we saw "The Perfect Getaway". crazy movie, btw (; then we came home & shit got way akward cause we were so bored! ughh, then i had a bitch fit, fucking yelling at my dad like 'WTF did we have to get her?!" . i mean, i'm sure you'd act the same way, if your parents just tell you a week before the person comes that they're taking in a complete stranger, like your opinions don't mean shit. but ugh, i'm gna have to get over it & befriend her &get to know her. i'm sounding like a bitch, but it's cause i'm kinda nervous. oh & she's coming on Wed. for a 'sleepover' . (sighs) gotta build a bridge & get over it .

back from hiatus.

lmao, that was quick (; welll, on friday, which was the night i arrived home, it was brutal. 11 hour long ride home. omg. when we came to my house, me & esmarlin ran upstairs & jumped on our moms. hahaha my mom dyed her hair black, my dog got huuuger & my little bro stayed the same, lol . it was soo great seeing everyone again, having everyone reunite in my house. like i'm not a family person at all, but that all changed this summer. i've learned to appreciate my family & love them unconditionally, no matter how fucking annoying they get. buut i decided to stay over esmarlin's house, & my cousins johnny & randhy came along. it was sweeeeet cause my aunt left the house to ourselves that night (: my friend josee came over, since he lives right up the st. it was nice, just calm. the next day we all drove back to my house & stayed there the whole day. me, randhy, esmarlin, my bro brian, cousin josh & johnny locked ourselves in brian's room, playing Guitar Hero for like ever! (: i kicked ass, duh. i never wanted that night to end, cause i didn't wanna say bye to my family. but the time came, and it came time to say 'bye' to my cousin randhy, who i was the closest to. randhy wasn't just my cousin, he was my bestfriend out there. we talked all the time, i was always in his room, he taught me how to play piano & how to find my perfect pitch in singing. he taught me so many things & opened up my eyes to new perspectives. i honestly looked up to him & when i had to say goodbye, thinking back on our memories, i choked up. and cried into his arms, again. it wasn't the first time i've cried to him. i told him we'd talk every day & that even if i got annoying, we'd HAVE to talk. i said goodbye's to johnny, who was also crying, and my aunt , uncle & other cousin chris. me and esmarlin stood outside, watching the van drive by. and when we got upstairs, we cried endlessly. i'm crying right now, as i type. virginia was the best thing that ever happened to me. i can't wait to go back.

ugh

i miss everything about Virginia. i miss my aunt, uncle & younger cousins. but i miss my older cousin most of all. he was my bestfriend out there. i wish i moved over there<3

i won't be on this for a while. gotta figure some shit out & get used to this suck ass place. bye

Brittany.

is the name of my new foster sister :]
i haven't met her yet since i've been here, most of the summer
but this is what my mom & brother have told me:

- she's 13 going on 14 in September.
- she'll be a freshman @ my school this year.
- she's half white half dominican (awesome)
- she's wicked shy & quiet.
- she's short. approximately 5'1.
- she's blonde
- & shes pretty.


doesn't sound terrible at all. when i first heard the news, i was fucking mad, like 'wtf i seen orphan last week and now you wanna bring an unknown girl to my home?!' but now, i'm thinking of it as a good experience. it's wierd cause i've always had foster brother's, never sister's. i've never had a sister before, & i've always wanted one. i always consider my bestfriend Andrea as an older sister, but now i can sorta get a real one? i'm a tad stoked :D i doubt she'll be a bitch & if she is, i'll cut her .




so kidding :)

8'14'

is the day i go home.
it's bittersweet , rly.
i know before in previous posts, i did not wanna go home
but now thinking about it, i sorta do.
i miss my family.
i miss my dog.
i miss my friends.
i miss home, rly.
even if it is in sucky Worcester, Mass.

but i am gna miss it here a bunch.

i'll miss 6 flags.
i'll miss going to pools everyday
i'll miss mickey d's & pizza hut every week.
i'll miss my bed.
i'll miss our pancake mornings
i'll miss spending hours in randhy's room
i'll miss scoping out hotties at the park.
i'll miss uncle jay, tia chichi, johnny, chris & randhy the most.
& especially shadow the cat!


- but i'll come back.
even tho i'll be 18 when that happens x)

i'm leaving part of my heart in Springfield, Virginia.

♥

6flags

was gr8 :D this employee for 'Tower Of Doom' let me run him for 10 minutes ;] hahaha he was telling me what buttons for him to press. haha i was totally clueless. omfg and the first ride we went on was Mind Eraser & esmarlin TOTALLLY spazzed. hahahah that ride was wild. i drooled, even peee'd a tad bit and laughed the whoooole way cause of Esmarlin's nonstop swearing ;) we also seen Batman, swam and i lost my glasses for 2 hours cause this bitch wouldn't let me go in the ride to get em -_____- but overall it was fun :)


OH & i finally went on the Superman ride for the first time.

I HATED the buildup! plus the first drop! omfg it was amazing tho' ahahah i was shaking ;]

i don't wanna go home.

at all.
i love it here way too much.
& i'm going to miss randhy + shary so much, it makes me sick.
i hate saying 'goodbye's.



i'm leaving my heart in Virginia, no doubt about it.

6 days

left here. i have a lump in my throat just thinking about it.
this has been the best summer of my life. being here in Virginia is so great.
no worries, no drama, just peace.
plus saying goodbye to my aunt + uncle? and my cousin who's become my bestfriend since this trip?

i don't wanna think about it.

quote

so i'm watching Instant Star + the lead character, Jude Harrison, says a quote that sticks to me:

"that's the thing about love. you give a guy your heart, there's a chance he'll hand it back to you in pieces."

so true

Adam

went to the park w. esmarlin & shary - hotttie kid named Adam helped us fix our bix chain. ;] he was sw333333t<3 lolol .

INTERSTELLA 5555

randhy: "are you really patient?"

me: "uhh... when i wanna be. why?"

randhy: " will you sit through this hour long video.?"

me:(in my head): FUCK NO!
me:(outloud): "uh sure. do i have to?"

randhy: "no trust me, it's so good. you'll cry , it's amazing"

me: "i'm not gna cry, it sounds lame"

randhy: " trust me, you will."

-- i didn't have to, but i'm glad i did. i hate anime, + i hate music w. no lyrics, but after watching this video, my whole mind changed on it completely. my cousin randhy showed me this video about this band that gets kidnapped from their galaxy, speaking thru the soundtrack to Daft Punk's Discovery album. i cried my eyes out. it was fucking amazing & beautiful. i loved it . <3

:]

i love when you sing to me. i love when we have our deep talks.
i love when we can laugh at the stupidest things.
i love that you're the onlii person that makes me nervous enough that i can't eat in front of you.


damn. i think i love you?


so what am i so afraid of.?